- Take more naps. (All the magazines say naps are good for old people).
- Eat more fattening foods (I'm learning to bake).
- Take the dog for more walks (She gnaws on my ankle if I don't).
- Be more obedient when my wife tells me to do stuff (She has a cast iron frying pan and is not afraid to use it).
- Work harder for less money (Thank you Mr. President).
- Waste more time on the Internet (Can't afford to do much else).
- Write one more chapter of my memoirs by year's end (I just cut and paste junk I write on Facebook into a Word document called "Toms Memoir")
- Download more free stuff off the Internet (I can't afford to pay for it, even at Walmart prices).
- Drink more water (the diuretics I'm taking kind of guarantee I have to do that unless I want to turn into a colorfully dressed sandpile).
- Gain weight (My diet seems to work that way - not sure why).
Betcha I keep every one of those resolutions by April!
© 2013 by Tom King