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Thursday, January 09, 2014

Three Out of Four Teenagers Disobey Federal Exercise Guidelines

I'm shocked, shocked I tell you!

Three out of four teenagers do not obey federal daily exercise guidelines according to a recent Fox News report..

I'm shocked!

I mean teenagers disobeying the government. What is this world coming to!

Isn't the federal government getting a little crazy with all these guidelines even for a Democrat run government? I mean really. What's next? It seems like they have guidelines for everything.

After the recent government funded Stanford University Study, I expect a new set of federal guidelines to come out soon that will require all new toilets to come with a foot rest so you can comply with the Surgeon's General's new federal guidelines for assuming the state-approved pooping position. They even released diagrams which I shall not share here. There is a limit to the level of interference in my personal business that I shall tolerate.

Reminds me of a joke I heard yesterday. The NSA came out with a statement Monday, denying that it was installing cameras inside the toilets of every American household. In a totally unrelated press release, the director of the NSA issued new federal guidelines calling for Americans to, quote: "...get more fiber in their diets for crying out loud!"

Assume the position, folks! We are well and truly...................... Well, we all know what's coming.  Let's just ask ourselves, why else would the government be so concerned that we know HOW to assume the position?
(c) 2014 by Tom King


Greenescape said...

I was the Master-at-Arms when I was in the Coast Guard in southern Oregon, which meant I was responsible for enforcing discipline/regulations/etc.

In 1987 the military's "Fat Boy" program was implemented. This required you to meet specific weight to height guidelines. There was no variances when it first came out.

One day I was in the the CO and XO discussing the new standards. The CO had a notice regarding one of our petty officers. It said he failed the standards and would have to be placed on a medically-supervised protocol to lose weight. The "conversation" [argument] followed as to who was going to tell this 6 foot, 275 pound Swedish bodybuilder that he was fat!

In the end, the CO decided he would try to make the case to the medical officer (located 2 hrs away) that this guy really is all muscle and see if common sense would prevail.

Medical officer ordered this guy to travel to Coos Bay and report anyway. We gave him the orders to travel, but didn't tell him what it was about.

Before he got back that evening, we already had the orders from HQ rescinding the original order. I suspect someone took one look at him and said "Nah, you're good."

Tom King said...

That's the thing about government regulations. They don't allow for any sort of flexibility. Sometimes you have to frighten the little weasels in their hidey holes to get them to see reason.