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Wednesday, October 24, 2018

I Should Be the Poster Boy for Colored People

At Christmas I tend to go red-cheeked for the holidays. Tell me that's not colorful!

The NAACP (National Association for the Advancement of Colored People) is not terribly interested in me as a member. For one thing, I'm not black, native American or Latino. If I were Asian they would only be slightly more interested in me. Secondly, I'm a conservative and vote Republican and that by itself will cost you your colored card. Now if you are Democrat and progressive, you get a pass. Democrats like Rachel Dolezal or Elizabeth Warren can fudge their racial credentials because, unlike me, they are liberals and therefore, by progressive groupthink, cannot be other than what they say they are. Even the palest President in a century, Bill Clinton can get away with calling himself the "first black president" in US History because he carries the right party card.

I would like to make the case that I am, in fact, "colored" despite the abuse I'm going to take from my progressive friends for saying so. Why?  Let me enumerate.....

  1. I am, in fact, not white, but a pale pink - sometimes more of a beige! This is my natural state. If I am white, my wife will say, "You look terrible!" and put me into bed with a hot water bottle and aspirin.
  2. Sometimes, in winter, I am a pale blue!  If I sit too close to a fireplace I turn a nice cherry red.
  3. In summer, I go a nice light brown or tan color. If I spend too much time in the sun, I go a bright red except on my butt which remains a pasty white by contrast.
  4. If I get sick I turn yellow sometimes and again get sent to bed with a hot water bottle and Tylenol (in case it's the flu - she doesn't want me to get Reye's syndrome from taking aspirin)*
  5. Also, the fact is that WHITE is a color. In fact it is all colors put together. Ironically, the color black is actually an absence of reflected colors.
In point of fact, then, I'M A RAINBOW! I'm all kind of colors all at once. Not in the LGBTLSMFT sense, mind you, but I am actually a blending of many colors. So when you are talking about colored folk, I demand you include me in that group. I'm a color too! My politics or religion should have nothing to do with whether or not I'm a colored person. The great truth is that we're all colored people and once we get used to that idea, we can stop shoving people into artificial groups by the color of their skins. A wise man once said that what's really most important is not the color of our skin but the content of our character.

All us colored folk say, "Amen, Dr. King. Amen!"

© 2018 by Tom King

* I know Reye's Syndrome only happens to kids, and I know that I'm 64 years old, but my Sweet Baboo knows me all too well and she isn't so sure I'm grown up enough to be immune to childhood diseases yet.

Sunday, October 21, 2018

Self-Pity Memes

There are memes like this all over the Internet - exercises in self-pity. Nobody loves me. Everybody hates me. I think I'll eat some worms and blame you all for all my troubles. So is the meme above true? Will family not cross the street to see you when you are alive but will only show up for your funeral?
That depends on whether or not you've crossed the street to support them. Some people spend their lives sitting in their own little box waiting for people to make them happy, to meet their needs, or to cover their screwups and never quite extend the same effort toward others. If you want people to come see you when you need them, you probably should go see them when THEY need you.

Seeing people whine about how nobody is meeting their needs is really tiring. Some of these memes make it seem like we're all supposed to be little kings and queens sitting on our thrones serviced by others. The truth is we are told to "Treat others as we want to be treated." We are called to action by Christ. If you want people to come to you before your funeral, you need to come to them before theirs.

Jesus doesn't teach by the laying on of guilt. He teaches us through the laying on of responsibility. Have I visited the sick, the disabled, the elderly, the widows and orphans, and even those in prison? Have I done for others the things I wish them to do for me?

If not, you probably shouldn't be whining if nobody remembers you when you get old. Why should they? What have YOU done that anyone should remember you. It is the people who were kind in their lives, who helped their neighbors, who encouraged those in need, and who stood by those who were in pain and suffering, that get visitors when they are in the nursing home. That's because people notice when they aren't around anymore and go looking for them because their departure has left a hole in their lives.

So stop whining. Be a doer of good, not someone who demands that good be done to them. We are under orders to do the first and under conviction to not expect the last. After all, good people live in a world that is hostile to goodness.

  • "If you were of the world, it would love you as its own. Instead, the world hates you, because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. Remember the word that I spoke to you: ‘No servant is greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you." - John 15:19-20
© 2018 by Tom King