You know what would be cool?
How about if in 2017, when
the Chinese land an unmanned probe on the moon to collect and return
soil samples to Earth, the crew of an American private commercial
moon base were to sneak over and put fortune cookies in
the spacecraft's sample box with fortunes that say things like, "The moon is NOT
made of green cheese." and "We'll have the Moo Goo Gai Pan, the fried
Won Ton and the Poo Poo Platter" and "Does that come with fried rice?"
Greatest prank EVER!
© 2013 by Tom King
I am so tired of making New Year's resolutions that I give up on before the month is out. So, this year I have decided to set measurable, attainable goals for myself. After much thought, I have come up with ten things to accomplish in 2014 that I am certain I can manage. They are:
- Take more naps. (All the magazines say naps are good for old people).
- Eat more fattening foods (I'm learning to bake).
- Take the dog for more walks (She gnaws on my ankle if I don't).
- Be more obedient when my wife tells me to do stuff (She has a cast iron frying pan and is not afraid to use it).
- Work harder for less money (Thank you Mr. President).
- Waste more time on the Internet (Can't afford to do much else).
- Write one more chapter of my memoirs by year's end (I just cut and
paste junk I write on Facebook into a Word document called "Toms
Memoir")
- Download more free stuff off the Internet (I can't afford to pay for it, even at Walmart prices).
- Drink more water (the diuretics I'm taking kind of guarantee I have
to do that unless I want to turn into a colorfully dressed sandpile).
- Gain weight (My diet seems to work that way - not sure why).
Betcha I keep every one of those resolutions by April!
© 2013 by Tom King
Posts
