I Have Found My Haberdashery!

As a native Texan, I've gotta
have this one.

For some reason, my Sweet Baboo doesn't like my loud Hawaiian fat guy shirts. I'm not sure why. I think they are quite fetching, but they do tend to disappear one by one over time. I've found a couple in the trash. I'm sure this was by accident. Anyway, I really love the shirts of the islands. I'm a bit colorblind, so I like my colors to be vibrant. I'm sure many of you enjoy vibrant colors, so in the interest of keeping my readers, many of who must share my taste in things like clothes, music, religion and politics, informed of cool things that might make them happy.

Here's one!

I'm not being paid to advertise for these guys. I just like these shirts. My birthday is coming up April 19, so I'm gonna buy one of these for me and try to wear it on special occasions when my wife doesn't want me to look like an overweight homeless guy. I don't think color is unpleasant. The trouble is, I married a superhero. She has super hearing, super vision, super touch, super smell and ESP for all I know. The woman can smell a gnat passing gas at 200 yards. We have to black out the windows in daylight because the light is too bright coming through the windows. Scentsies are everywhere to control the smells. She puts cotton in her ears to subdue the sound. And she knows what I'm doing or thinking even if she can't see me.

As a conservative American I like
this one. The dinosaur will make
my grandson happy.

My wardrobe has always been a bone of contention. I'm partially color blind. I have trouble with subtle pastel color differences and very dark colors like deep blue, dark purple, black, dark red and almost any very dark color. So my color matches are often very off. My hearing is relatively normal and with my allergies, my sense of smell is not very good. I love brightly lit spaces. 

My favorite loud Hawaiian shirts stand out visually to my poor darling like flashbulbs going off. The poor thing  suffers from sensory overload most of the time. I try to save my loud shirts for when I'm going to be outside. If she's with me, I make sure she remembers to wear sunglasses.

Our home has mostly Earth tones with furniture, paint and decorations so far as colors go and it's pretty calming. When we play music, it tends to be of the sort that puts me straight off to sleep. She used to create mix tapes for nap time at the day care center we operated. The kids tried to stay awake, but once the music started, they started dropping off as if they'd been gassed. The woman is an expert in how to create calmness.

My grandson will really dig it when
Poppy shows up dressed in sharks.
The boy loves anything with
a lot of sharp teeth.

 

Unfortunately for my beloved superhero, she married a klutz whose unsuperhero skill is ADHD.
  It takes loud sounds, loud colors, exciting action and smoke alarms to keep me focused. And don't ask me to do any housecleaning. My work does not, cannot and ever will meet superhero habitation standards. I can empathize with Lois Lane. I really can.

I try to keep my shirts a little more low-key. I like shirts with ocean/island themes but they tend to be a lot more loud and glaring in color, so I've quit buying them. I can get away with the patriotic ones above because they have a lot of Earth tones. The shark shirt has a lot of black and the sharks themselves tend to have more muted colors.

I picked two shirts (below) that have a favorite picture theme that we both love - lighthouses. These are pretty much black and white and gray, so the colors are calming. Good for my superhero sweetie. Good for her hyper hubbie.

© 2021 by Tom King

PS: It's almost my birthday.