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For some reason lately I've seen a plethora of posts on Facebook lately, which talk about "bearing" something in the sense of carrying a burden. The trouble is these multiple witnesses have used the term "BARING" or "Bareing" to indicate that they mean they were "carrying" or "tolerating" something.
Either some authority has changed the spelling and/or meaning of the term and didn't tell me, or it's one of those crazy new fads that everyone is going along with. Perhaps there has been a sudden mass outbreak of either misspelling or nudity while carrying burdens. I shall watch this trend carefully. You see Friday is my shopping day and on that day, I usually can be found "bearing" burdens in some public place or other.
If I am to "bare" my burdens in order to comply with the new cultural imperative, then I am confused. Has "No-pants Friday" come to enjoy a surprising popularity in both the Pacific Northwest and East Texas. Most of the posts about "bareing" burdens seem to have come largely from these two areas - regions known to contain many heavily-armed individualists for some inexplicable reason that has been lost to the mists of time.
Don't get me wrong. While I have no personal problem with pursuits like nude vacuuming, naked dish-washing or skinny-scuba diving, I fear I shall have to draw the line at strolling the aisles of Walmart while "bareing" anything not normally bared in a public setting. I forebear to do this out of concern for the mental health of innocent young people whose mother's have dragged them along on the weekly shopping trip. I also do not wish to be responsible for throwing a craving on some unsuspecting elderly grandmother in the sewing notions aisle.
If it was just smart-alec twenty and thirty-somethings who might be upset at the sight of a 62 year-old large hairy guy bending over the banana bin, I wouldn't give a hoot. It is my ambition to shock and horrify as many young people as possible before, I some day pitch face-first into my spinach lasagna. I do, however, intend to limit such shocks to acts of elderly protest such as wearing black socks with shorts, ugly hats and brightly colored Hawaiian shirts, or by mispronouncing words like "quinoa" and "Niçoise" in front of them. I'd rather upset the little darlings by wearing tee-shirts that say things like "Armed and Cranky" "Ted Cruz - 2016" or "Get a Job Hippie"; not by "bareing" any of my more personal burdens however well-sculpted and muscular they might be.
If I am to "bare" my burdens in order to comply with the new cultural imperative, then I am confused. Has "No-pants Friday" come to enjoy a surprising popularity in both the Pacific Northwest and East Texas. Most of the posts about "bareing" burdens seem to have come largely from these two areas - regions known to contain many heavily-armed individualists for some inexplicable reason that has been lost to the mists of time.
Don't get me wrong. While I have no personal problem with pursuits like nude vacuuming, naked dish-washing or skinny-scuba diving, I fear I shall have to draw the line at strolling the aisles of Walmart while "bareing" anything not normally bared in a public setting. I forebear to do this out of concern for the mental health of innocent young people whose mother's have dragged them along on the weekly shopping trip. I also do not wish to be responsible for throwing a craving on some unsuspecting elderly grandmother in the sewing notions aisle.
If it was just smart-alec twenty and thirty-somethings who might be upset at the sight of a 62 year-old large hairy guy bending over the banana bin, I wouldn't give a hoot. It is my ambition to shock and horrify as many young people as possible before, I some day pitch face-first into my spinach lasagna. I do, however, intend to limit such shocks to acts of elderly protest such as wearing black socks with shorts, ugly hats and brightly colored Hawaiian shirts, or by mispronouncing words like "quinoa" and "Niçoise" in front of them. I'd rather upset the little darlings by wearing tee-shirts that say things like "Armed and Cranky" "Ted Cruz - 2016" or "Get a Job Hippie"; not by "bareing" any of my more personal burdens however well-sculpted and muscular they might be.
Just sayin'.
© 2016 by Tom King
© 2016 by Tom King
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