America May Have Reached the Tipping Point
(c) 2013 by Tom King
You can no longer be the iron when you play Monopoly.
Hasbro conducted a survey asking Monopoly players worldwide which piece they wanted to get rid of and what piece should replace it. Why the Hasbro people ever did this, I do not know. My bet is there was a focus group on how to attract more women to purchase and play monopoly. I guarantee the group targeted the iron, that inimitable symbol of domesticity, from the get-go.
As a result of the survey, the iron got booted and replaced with, heaven help us, A CAT. Of all the things they could have replaced any piece with, why cats? They had other choices - a diamond ring, a helicopter, a robot or a guitar. Some will argue that, since there was already a dog, a cat was logical. I say the election was hijacked by liberals. The dog is a working animal. The battleship represents military industrial might, The wheelbarrow and the boot - tools of the working man. The top hat - the fedora of choice of the great barons of industry of the past. The thimble - the textile industry. The dog - a working animal, loyal companion and defender.
What's a cat got to do with anything?
Hasbro, not only allowed foreigners to vote, but it also allowed participants to vote more than once - something the FemiNazi focus groups no doubt suggested. Voting was supposed to be limited to once a day, but cat lovers are capable of shifty things and no doubt got around that stricture. With a flood of last minute cat votes, a move worthy of Chicago Democrats in an election year, the cat people seized 31% of the vote and won the right to play as cats in Monopoly.
Okay, add the cat. Modern American business can cope with the odd socialist. But I liked the iron. The iron was an ironic piece in that it is a domestic symbol in a business game. And isn't that what business is about - protecting and supporting the home front in return for sharp creases in our suit pants. Ah, but no more.
Actually, for most of the survey, the iron, the wheelbarrow and the boot were virtually tied for elimination. I'll tell you why too. They represent hard work. Their universally low rating says something about our sagging work ethic in America.
That's why I say the adoption of the cat as the newest playing piece for the classic American business game is a sign of the coming decline of America. Cats are the ultimate in self-interested, self-centered, manipulative, prissy and disloyal creatures of all pets except possibly the boa constrictor. Dogs have families. Cats have staff.
It's sad really. We're fast becoming a cat nation. That's what happened to Egypt. Cats take over and it's all downhill from there.
I'm just sayin'
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