My Annual St. Patrick's Day Joke - The Ocean Cruise

    Retold by Tom King (c) 2011

Art by Tom King (c) 2011

(please include credits when stealing)

An Irishman walks into a bar and sees a large poster on the back wall that says, "Ocean Cruises - $200" with an arrow pointing to a door in the back.
    "I could use a bit of a vacation," he tells himself and knocks at the door. He's ushered in by a large man with a heavy blackthorn sheleleigh wearing a badge that says, "Security". He's taken to a small room where there's a little man sitting at a table with a cash box and a stack of papers. The tiny man motions for him to sit down.
    "Is it true you offer ocean cruised for only $200." Paddy asked.
    "Aye, Bucko, it tis," the man replied. "Put your money in the box and fill out an application while I get your travel documents in order."
    Figuring he couldn't go far wrong at that price, the Irishman fishes the $200 out of his wallet and drops it in the box.  He's just picking up the pen to fill out an "application" when the world goes suddenly black.
    The Irishman wakes up with a huge knot on the back of his head, sitting stark naked in an inner tube floating down a river toward the sea, which he spies off ahead in the distance. "What a grand fool I've been taken for," he thought resignedly when he suddenly notices another apparently naked man in an inner tube floating a few yards away.
    "Och, and isn't this a fine cruise we've purchased for ourselfs?" he shrugged ruefully at his fellow traveler. "Do you suppose they'll serve those little umbrella drinks on this trip," he joked.
    "I dunna think so," the Scotsman answered, his thick brogue identifying his nationality.
    "And why is that?" the Paddy laughted good-naturedly.
    "Well," the Scotsman shot back with some irritation. "They didna have 'em last year."