You Might Be a Texan If.......

Original material (c) 2011 by Tom King

•  If you say hello by sticking up one finger to say hi............and it's not the same one they use for that in New York!
• If you've ever eaten a green vegetable that left your tongue numb......and went back for seconds.
• If you're favorite pizza is barbecue with jalepenos and nacho cheese....
• If you've ever gone to a Mexican restaurant and the next morning, your poop caught fire.... 
• If you consider people from Arkansas Yankees...
• If you're "good car" is the pickup.....
• If you've ever been run over by a white (or black) Ford F-150........(on second thought, you were probably visiting Texas and decided to go for a "walk in the country") 
• If you've ever sprinkled ceremonial dirt on the head of a child who was accidentally or through no fault of his own born out of state....
• If your basic four food groups are Mexican, Chili, Barbecue and Breakfast.....
• If you've ever spent three hours on the side of a road repairing a little old lady's engine and when she asked you how much she owed you, said, "Not a thing, Mam.  My pleasure.".....
• If you own footwear made from a bird, a snake or an endangered species..... 
• If you think "The Yellow Rose of Texas" should be the state song and not that one that nobody knows that the Democrats foisted on us....
• If you've ever driven a pickup to the opera....
• If Democrats are on the endangered species list in your state and they put themselves there so people would stop taking potshots at them....
• If you've ever worn a belt with a rodeo championship buckle to church as a conversation starter.....
• If you remember the Alamo, but not your anniversary....
• If you think 105 degrees is a "little" warm outside.
• If you bought your wife a fishing boat for Mother's Day.........and a deer blind for her birthday...
• If you own a saddle just in case you ever run into a horse that needs riding...
• If you speak some Spanish and don't even realize you're doing it....
• If you own more guns than you do underwear...
• If you identify yourself as a Texan, even though you only lived there for six months and moved away....
• If you buy your steak by the cow.....

             ...and finally.

•  If you describe yourself as a Texan no matter where you actually live.....you might be a Texan

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