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Monday, January 26, 2009

Tough Day Plus 3 Years

Yesterday was a tough day. It marked the 3rd anniversary of my son Micah's death from a seizure in the middle of the night. We had 5 layers of safety procedures in place to help insure that he was safe and every single one of them failed that night.

God gave us a sign years earlier that we later recognized was God telling us we were going to lose him and assuring us that it would be alright - that God knew it was coming and that Micah's soul was safe in God's hands. I've written about it before in this blog at: .

Three years and we're still trying to recover from the loss. Parents were not meant to survive their children. It's one of life's cruelties when you lose your babies - even the 6'4" ones. You have no defenses for that.

People have difficulty being around you when you're going through the trauma from it. Let's face it, if you're a parent, losing a child is the worse thing you can imagine and being near someone who has lost a child is a terrible reminder that it could happen to you.

Children don't understand that at all. The worst fight my daughter and wife ever got into was when Meg had been driving on a very dangerous highway (lots of drunks) late at night to visit her boyfriend. Her Mom ordered her not to do that because it was dangerous. She was terrified that Meg would be killed driving home some night. My daughter, as fiercely stubborn as her Mom, simply blew her off and basically said she would do whatever she wanted to. It got really ugly after that.

Meg will probably have hard feelings about that for years - until her own daughter (which she hasn't had yet) does something that risks her young life needlessly and freaks mama out!

God is merciful to all of us. He has given every parent alive a little glimpse of what it means to lose a child and an understanding of the risk He took in allowing his own son to give himself for us. At the same time He promised to be our children's teacher (Is. 54:13). It's just so hard to send them off to school.

It's even harder when your children graduate early like Micah did.

Hold them tight, Mom and Dad. Never let a day go by without letting them know in some way that they are precious to you and that you love them without condition.

Just one man's opinion.


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