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Friday, December 29, 2006

Sheila's Guest Editorial on the subject of Christmas

Jolly Old St. Nicholas

..........Or, as I like to call it

Why I can't afford Christmas Anymore


Jolly Old Saint Nicholas

Boot up your P.C.

I’m sending you my E-mail list

(It’s modern, quick and free)


Margo wants a pink I-Pod

Cody wants the wii

Mommy wants some diamond studs

Dad – plasma TV


Grandma wants a membership

To the local gym

Grandpa wants a crate of steaks

(Tofu’s not for him)


My cousin “Jo” what a Ho

I’d love to tell you more

I guess a ten buck gift card works

But from the dollar store


As for me dear Santa Clause

I’m not hard at all

Just send cash and loads of it

I’ll need it at the mall


Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Cheery Kwanzaa, A Jolly Ramadan

Blah, blah, blah…


And remember, at your New Year’s Eve party

q Egg nog has 400 calories per cup + 200 extra with the rum

q Champagne has 200 calories, sparkling non-alcoholic wine 80 calories

q Ginger Ale – 40, Club Soda – 0

q Enjoy your cloned hors d’oeuvres

q 0 trans fat crackers with no cholesterol, non fat, gag me with a spoon cheese balls

q or…. Eat the real stuff ‘cause it’s probably our last Christmas on Earth anyway unless the Mayans got it right and we have till 2012 before the planet is turned to powder…


So Happy New Years!!


Sheila King

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