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A few years back, some cocaine fueled movie producers got together and bounced around some ideas for a movie. They thought, maybe comedy or horror or science fiction - something like that. Jaws made a lot of money and shark movies boiled off the franchise in doves. Someone else suggested a disaster movie. A lot of people love disaster movies. Then someone who obviously was one toke over the line, said, "Why not combine Jaws and Twister; call it say, "Tornado-sharks!"
"It doesn't have the ring of a good disaster film."
"What if we have a tornado pick up a whole bunch of sharks and drop them on people in Los Angeles? Call it Sharknado!"
"Brilliant!" shouted the third producer. And it was off to the races with sequels that struck LA again, Florida, and sent the hero, surfer and bar owner Fin Shepherd and his surfer chick girlfriend April all over the world. Wherever they go in the 5 sequels more sharknadoes would break out around them. The world is destroyed except for Fin who then time travels in the last installment, rescues a bunch of key people and saves the world.
Now, I don't want to upset anyone, but I watched a documentary about tornadoes a while back and I'm concerned. Apparently, if these two hurricanes cranking up in the Atlantic and Pacific cross paths, there could be water spouts that draw sharks up into the hurricanes and when these hurricanes make landfall sharks actually could be dumped all over what the movie producers called "The Feast Coast" from Florida to Texas. Now, this isn't the problem that I'm having exactly. I know that between gangs with stores of illegal guns in LA and Texans who are some of the most heavily armed Americans. So both places have adequate ammunition and sufficient stores of spices to handle the situation.
The problem in the states that will be struck would be working out the bag limits on flying sharks. I can't afford to get into any trouble with the game wardens. Can you even shoot flying sharks, when they exit the sharkicane or do you have to wait till they make land fall? Is there a tag I need to buy in the event of a 2020 sharkicane?
If anyone has any information about how to get flying shark hunting licenses, let me know. It will be very much appreciated.
© 2023 by Tom King
