Manspreading Crime Wave Hits Europe

This is a setup. The guy's obviously a metro-sexual male fake
feminist poser and traitor to his fellow males. No self-respecting
guy would sit like that and make the ladies uncomfortable.Me? I'd
get up and hang on to the strap so the ladies would have plenty of room.

Trigger Warning:  The contents of this article could melt a snowflake or inadvertently educate the ignorant, so don't stand too close while reading. Let's rate this one PG-13.

Okay, apparently if a guy sits with his legs at all apart, he's breaking the law in Madrid, Spain and other parts of Europe. And they're making it socially unacceptable in California (where else) and potentially illegal in other places. As a result, manly European men with normal to XL sized external reproductive organs have apparently begun to scoff at anti-manspreading laws resulting in a wave of criminally aggressive patriarchal behavior all over Europe. Prison populations in Germany and Spain are expected to, uh, swell....

I've seen some guys sit with their legs tightly crossed like this (right) and all my life I've wondered how can they possibly do that? I tried it once during one of those body mirroring exercises in a workshop on business communication once. The guy across from me threw one knee over another just as smooth as silk. When I mimicked the behavior, I winced in pain. My instructor noticed the look of discomfort on my face and chided me for failing to give my partner open and accepting signals. You look like someone just kicked you in the...........

Aha! You begin to understand. 

While I understand that some men's testicles shrink up inside their bodies in the presence of strong patriarchal males like me (or domineering females for that matter), allowing them to sit cross legged without manspreading, I and most other fully testosterone-charged males just ain't built like that. Big guys know what I mean. It's why we adopt the ankle over knee leg cross (left) rather than the knee over knee leg cross. The effect of the latter reminds me of the lead character in the Tchaikovsky Christmas Ballet we all have to watch every year. And the knee over knee leg cross performs exactly that action upon our bulbous naughty parts.

And yes we probably do take up more room on a bus sitting like that, but trust me, it doesn't have anything to do with male privilege or staking out territory. It's just that even sitting straight legged, knee to knee is very uncomfortable for us unenlightened males. Sitting that way is actually quite enlightening as you grow out the other end of puberty and discover your anatomy has altered somewhat since childhood. The pseudo enlightened - you know the guys that go to feminist rallies wearing man buns and spandex hoping some not too homely gal will sleep with them afterward - will do almost anything hoping feminist women will have pity on them. Guys like me just can't do that tight-legged posture without significant discomfort and man-shaming us for man-spreading just isn't going to work. Let me mansplain.

On buses, I will give up my seat to any woman (not just the elderly and disabled ones0 that she may be comfortable. It's how I was raised. I'll ride the bus or train standing up holding onto a strap, rather than hogging a seat and making a lady feel uncomfortable or threatened. I will never force a lady to stand just so I can stake my claim over a seat space. If, however, there are no ladies about, I will jolly well manspread if I jolly well want to. That should satisfy the rules of politeness."But guys don't get up and give their seat space to women anymore," the anti-manspreading activists complain. "They just stake out more than their share of territory and they just don't care that it's not fair!" And whose to blame for that my feminazi friends?  Who yells at us for opening a door or deferring to a lady because she is a female person? Who demands equality, defined as "exact same treatment for women as for the guys?" (Then who sues us for sexual harassment if one of us swats one of them on the butt like we might do to one of our male buddies?)

This is a phony issue; another bit of artificial victimization by an increasingly insane liberal left. If feminists want the same treatment, so be it. If a guy sits next to another guy, we're both probably going to manspread as far as we can, secure in the mutual understanding that the boys need a little room for blood to pass smoothly through them. That our knees are pressed together is just a sacrifice to an even more important kind of comfort. If a woman sits next to us, we expect her to stake her claim in the same manner. That our knees might be pressed together is just a sacrifice to our comfort and we should not be sued for that. Just treating you like one of the guys. That's all.

Steven Crowder did this video experiment where he installed an educational device on a couple of ladies and sat them on a bus seat. Every one of them manspread. It's hard not to and danged uncomfortable as the ladies found out.

Manspread? There shouldn't even be a word for that in the English language. I will be sorely disappointed if Webster's dictionary includes such a word in their next edition. The word itself, much less the feminist calls for making the behavior illegal, are offensive to me. I was bullied in elementary school. I will NOT be bullied as a grown man. I will occupy my space or I will give it up and stand rather than hog up space and make a lady uncomfortable. We're not doing any sort of primitive display. Nobody wants to look at that thing anyway. It's ugly and generally leave it safely in our pants. Unlike women we don't let it pick out of our jock straps or wear swimsuits so you can see a little bit of the sides. We cover it and we only take it out when we need to use it. Any guy who would do otherwise is probably a metro-sexual and should be spanked by his mother for being a nasty boy.

If this generation of young men are crude and enough to do what the guy at the top of the page is doing they should be, as I said before, spanked by their mamas. Except their mama probably didn't believe in that sort of barbarism. So she gets this sort of barbarism.

I blame Democrats!

Just sayin'

© 2017 by Tom King

Protecting Our Princesses - A Male Chauvinist View

She may be a bit more militant
but the shoes still match the bow!

Every Halloween it's the same. THE most popular costume for girls is some sort of princess outfit. There is, however, increasing pressure on parents these days to teach our daughters to reject the "princess paradigm" for women and adopt what these self-appointed "experts" call a more"kick-ass" role model.

Well, perhaps some of these would-be cultural paradigm shifters missed it, but some of Disney's princesses were pretty "kick-ass" in their own right. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for teaching our daughters to be self-assured, independent of spirit and self-reliant. We tried to teach our own daughter that when she was growing up and I think she learned the lessons well. I'm very proud of her independence and her feisty self-assurance. She's a pistol, I'm here to tell you.

At the same time, we need to be careful not to make men out of our girls as we try to teach them to become more durable women. The trick is not to train out of them, the very biological characteristics that make them who and what they are. 

Women's contributions to our world and to the quality of life in our world are unique. We need that ability to nurture, that instinct to protect the sanctity of the family circle and that ability to find win/win solutions. Men don't do that so well. We're more about kicking buttocks and taking names. We're more linear in the way we approach life. Point us at a problem and we roll straight over it. But ask us to figure out what everyone around us needs to make them happy and we're lost. That is a gift, not given the male of the species in any great quantity.  It is a uniquely feminine gift. It is the example of our mom's and wives and sweethearts that keep us males from driving straight over the goal-directed precipice that lies at the end of our distinctly male style of thinking.

Feminists like to say funny things like "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle."  Perhaps that's true in some sense, though I seriously doubt it. The important thing is that a man needs a woman to make him truly a man. That's no shame to a man, just the way God made us. Together, a man and woman form a complete person. It's not just that the physical parts fit. It's the heads and hearts as well. It turns out that men and women are symbiotic creatures. We're each given half the equation.  Call me a romantic, but I have found this to be the truth. Were I to lose my soul mate, I might go on, but something will always be missing until we are reunited at the end of it all.

It may sound chauvinist and you may call me a stupid male if you wish, but we need our princesses - not as helpless objects, but as partners in the struggle of life. Someone once noted that Eve was made, not from a bit of Adam's skull to be above him or from his foot to be beneath him, but from his rib to stand at his side. You women are the reason we men willingly rush to stand between the dragons and our families.

And if the dragons do manage to get past us, we need to know they still have Mama to deal with.  So, what's wrong with that?

© 2013 by Tom King