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Showing posts with label exercise. Show all posts
Showing posts with label exercise. Show all posts

Thursday, January 09, 2014

Three Out of Four Teenagers Disobey Federal Exercise Guidelines


I'm shocked, shocked I tell you!

Three out of four teenagers do not obey federal daily exercise guidelines according to a recent Fox News report..

I'm shocked!

I mean teenagers disobeying the government. What is this world coming to!

Isn't the federal government getting a little crazy with all these guidelines even for a Democrat run government? I mean really. What's next? It seems like they have guidelines for everything.

After the recent government funded Stanford University Study, I expect a new set of federal guidelines to come out soon that will require all new toilets to come with a foot rest so you can comply with the Surgeon's General's new federal guidelines for assuming the state-approved pooping position. They even released diagrams which I shall not share here. There is a limit to the level of interference in my personal business that I shall tolerate.

Reminds me of a joke I heard yesterday. The NSA came out with a statement Monday, denying that it was installing cameras inside the toilets of every American household. In a totally unrelated press release, the director of the NSA issued new federal guidelines calling for Americans to, quote: "...get more fiber in their diets for crying out loud!"

Assume the position, folks! We are well and truly...................... Well, we all know what's coming.  Let's just ask ourselves, why else would the government be so concerned that we know HOW to assume the position?
(c) 2014 by Tom King


Sunday, July 12, 2009

Apparently God Wants Me to Exercise

I promise not to let this blog descend into syrupy sonnets about my new dog. Let's face it, though. Old people and dogs - it's pretty disgusting to watch! Sheila and I are turning into THOSE people who have a dog that we lavish our attention on because our children are pretty much fed up with us obsessing over them and if we don't dote over something, we'll probably melt down. Not a lot of grandkids running around here, so Daisy, our half lab, half border collie gets the full treatment.

Haven't heard this much baby talk since Meghan was born.

As I said in an earlier post, I believe Daisy was a gift from God. Apparently, God gave her to us because he wants me to exercise! In the 3 weeks since we found her, I've walked 1 to 2 miles a day EVERY day and sometimes twice a day. I've now officially lost 20 pounds, quit worrying about dieting AND had to take in my belt two notches! My fat pants are getting loose on me and I laid about 10 concrete patio flagstones today and did not have a heat stroke or coronary arrest.

My feet hurt, I've got bunions and blisters, but I can, in just 3 weeks, walk two miles at a rapid rate without falling over in the ditch to "have a little rest". A month ago, I got winded running up the stairs.

I've also found that I'm more alert, write faster and feel more "up". And no, I am not going to get all self-righteous about fitness and start pestering you guys to go exercise. After all, it took God to get me out doing road work and he gave me a coach that thinks going 2 miles instead of one when I really wanted to turn back at about half a mile is a jim dandy idea!

I'm thinking of painting sergeant stripes on the dog! I feel like I'm in boot camp with a hyperkinetic D.I. dragging my short legs up hill and over dale.

I'm going to bed now. I have to get up at 5 am and mow the lawn. My other sergeant is in charge of lawn care duty!

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